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 All parents want the best for their children and are concerned with their well-being and happiness. At the same time, many parents find themselves limited to varying degrees in their ability to provide the love, warmth, direction and control necessary for their child’s optimal emotional development.
What is the main factor that interferes with parents' abilities to provide the love, warmth, and control that is necessary for a child’s optimal development?
Aside from the outside pressure of balancing work and family responsibilities, the most significant problems we all face in raising children can be found in our families of origin. In order to be effective parents and develop secure attachments with our children, we need to make sense of what happened in our own childhoods. In recognizing where our beliefs and feelings about children come from, we can gain more control over the defensive behaviors that we feel compelled to act out with our children.
How do our mixed feelings about ourselves have an impact on us as parents?
The ambivalent attitudes we have toward ourselves are inevitably extended to our feelings about our children. The fact that we sometimes have negative, hostile feelings toward our children does not negate our love or concern for them.
What is the most important thing a person can do in order to be the best possible parent?
We can best help our children by trying to fulfill our own lives. When we are involved in an honest pursuit of our own development, we serve as positive role models for our children. Learning to have compassion for ourselves enables us to extend that compassion to our children.
BOOKS:
ARTICLES:
PARENT-CHILD RELATIONS VIDEO SERIES:
RESEARCH:
WORKSHOPS:
*Transcripts available in Spanish
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