The inevitability of future loss is a real problem for human beings, yet when they face this issue without defending themselves, their lives become rich, powerful, and sweet, and they are capable of true intimacy.
[from Psychological Defenses Against Death Anxiety]

Most people tend to give up their lives in the face of death. Anxiety is a complex phenomenon, and understanding people in relation to death anxiety helps to explain many strange and puzzling phenomena about human behavior, not the least of which are people’s propensities for self-destructive responses. They avoid personal gratification and prefer not to be loved and valued by others because it makes them more vulnerable and cognizant of their own death. There is no defense or protection against death, but there is a way to live that is life-affirming rather than life-denying.

Can we fully overcome the pain associated with the awareness of our own mortality?
We can never overcome the sadness associated with the obliteration of the self as we know and experience it in our everyday lives. In a sense, people must mourn the anticipated loss to retain their capacity for genuine feeling.

What can be considered a positive reaction to the realization of death?
Some people who show unusual courage manage to turn the core issue of death’s inevitability to their advantage, giving greater meaning to their lives and behaving in a manner that is truly respectful of others. Taking such a positive approach allows us to live a life of love and truth even in the face of the certainty of death.

How do most people respond to reminders of the inevitability of death?
The arousal of death anxiety generally leads to an increased reliance on defensive behaviors and self-protective lifestyles. Any significant event, such as illness, rejection, accident, or tragedy, or an unusual success or special acknowledgment, can precipitate feelings of death anxiety, which in turn may lead to a retreat to defenses typically used by the person during times of stress.

BOOKS:

• Chapter 9 and Epilogue, Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy
• Chapters 15 and 16, The Fantasy Bond
• Chapter 4, Death Attitudes and the Older Adult
• Chapter 12, Death Anxiety Handbook: Research, Instrumentation, and Application

EXISTENTIAL ISSUES DOCUMENTARY SERIES:

• Life, Death and Denial
• Defenses Against Death Anxiety

WORKSHOPS:

• Life-Affirming Death Awareness